i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
