I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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