when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
