stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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