It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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