I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
