So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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