we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
