I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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