If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
sex in a hospital.. check
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
