Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
