Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
