mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just invented taco cereal.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
