My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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