I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
