I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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