Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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