never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am available for nakedness
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
