thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
