i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
