Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
