I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize