jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
