peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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