peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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