he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
