Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just cropdusted the office
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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