i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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