Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
