I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
