So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
