In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
honey bunches of taint.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Randomize
