I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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