if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
