i don't like sucking hair
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
