when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
