There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
