im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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