covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
