You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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