whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
