My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
