I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
