Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
