the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
