and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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