Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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