you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
