You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
