I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
These tits shall not be calmed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
