:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize