He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
