I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
only you would photoshop your dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
