Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
