I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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